Beyond trying... It's been an emotionally exhausting week.
Two of my dearest friends are separating. And because this is their story I will not dwell on it. But I will say that it's made me think so much. I've been listening to both sides for months. My heart has hurt for everyone involved but I have always felt there was hope and there is still love. I hope that there still is love and that separation will bring certain realities into focus. And maybe spur more energy into communication... dare I think reconciliation?
Selfishly I feel a sense of loss for what I have lost as well. No more early Christmas morning get-togethers before we head off to separate family commitments. No more family weekends at the beach. Birthdays will be different for sure.
Will I have to choose?
I don't want to choose a side. I am compassionate to both and I get them both... I wish they could get each other the same way.
Added to that bombshell... the crippling reality that one of my closest friends from childhood is migrating with her family. Another one... All my girls who dreamed dreams with me where our kids would play together while we grew old. :-) It's bitter - there's no sweet here - and it's a reality that I've tried to ignore.
I went to visit her this week before she left for good. We managed to laugh and chat like normal until it was time for me to go. Then I cried like a baby. :-)
She's always been like a big sister to me. I'm talking childhood antics, teenage rebellion, first loves, first heartbreaks, women's rights, marriage, kids, family, love. We've gone through them all.
I will miss her dearly. And while there is email and Facebook and Skype... it really just isn't the same is it?
I thank God for these... it would be really hard to make it through this time without them. :-)
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