So when DID I become my mother???

I used to be the Fun Aunt, and the grade-school teacher whose class you wanted to be in. Parents were soooo out of touch. Don't they remember they were young once too? I got the psychology of it. The practical fun of it. When I had my boys - 2yrs apart - I treasured them. I didn't get pulled into tantrums, I distracted them. And they were happy. I was patient. I remember saying out loud - those people screaming at their kids in the mall... that's no good for anyone! And if they didn't want kids they shouldn't have had them.

Gulp. So when did I lose sight of all that. And become my mom? And my neighbour? When did I stop having fun watching them be kids, and start trying to make them perfect?

I heard myself the other day. My 8-yr old was being particularly mean to his little brother, and I tried to reprimand him and just totally lost my cool. As I yelled at him, I heard myself. And I heard my neighbours' mom. The screaming lady. Oh my gosh. I've become the screaming lady.

This isn't supposed to happen! We're Generation X! We can choose to do what we want... on our terms... We are in control of our destiny! I don't want to be the out of touch mom who isn't taken seriously unless she yells. I want to be the mom who's sitting out there, having fun with her kids. But maybe there is room for "You'll spoil your eyes" Mom in there too.

I'm just going to have to find my own way...