I've moved.

The domain SHOULD be forwarding you automatically but it's not... :-(

Feed readers should see no difference because it's the same feed with a different website giving it data.

Click on over to check out my new home

CSN Stores $25 Gift Card Winner

And the winner of the CSN Stores $25 Gift Card is.......

GERI!!

CONGRATULATIONS, GERI!!

Chosen by Random.org

You have 48 hours to reply to my email and claim your prize!

Smartphones and Kids - Can we protect them without spying on them?

This week I asked parents on my Facebook page what they thought were the biggest threats facing our kids online. One mother left a comment that really got me thinking.

She voiced the usual concern about the easy availability to inappropriate material online, and went on to share that, despite all the web-filtering controls she had implemented on their home PCs, a well-meaning adult had given her son an iPod Touch as a gift, and she felt she now had no control over what he chose to access on the internet.

She stumped me for a little bit. I can recommend all kinds of applications to keep your kids safely entertained online from a PC-perspective, but I've never given much thought to the idea of content-filtering on a smartphone level.

Not that I've really had to give it much thought. My children are below the age of 10, and are not allowed to have cellphones quite yet. And while I am aware of quite a few applications that bill themselves as Cellphone Spy software (the intention being to provide you with evidence of the transgressions of either your offspring or your wayward spouse), I drew a blank at smartphone web-filtering.

Parental Spy-ware?

Surely there must be a business case for it? What if evidence is not what you're after? With smartphones getting into the hands of younger and younger children, what if your primary concern is preventing your kids from discovering and exploring the seedier side of the web in the first place?

Collecting your child's text messages and call logs can provide important facts for discussion, especially where confrontation becomes necessary to address a child's breaching of boundaries the family has established. But let's not fool ourselves with smooth marketing descriptions, and call it what it is. Spying.

I'm not saying there isn't a place for these applications. I am saying that, in my opinion, spying should neither be the first nor the only means a parent should employ.

So what's a parent to do?

Talk about it

First of all, talk to your kids about the internet. Talk to them about their phone. Keeping the lines of communication open is the best tool in a parent's arsenal. Odds are your child isn't going to tell you EVERYthing, but they need to know that they can talk to you if they do encounter something that makes them uncomfortable.

Set the groundrules

Let your kids know what you expect from them, and clearly state what behaviour you find unacceptable. If you're going to be restricting their access via web-filtering or other parental controls, let them know. You don't have to go into specifics, but they should be aware that you're monitoring them, especially if your going to be using any of those "spying" apps. Obviously how you go about this is going to be very different depending on the age of your child, but this is the critical difference between a child understanding that you're monitoring their safety vs spying on their private thoughts.

Any parent of teenagers can tell you a perceived invasion of privacy can damage parent/child trust in a way that is extremely difficult to rebuild. And it makes constructive conversation almost impossible.

Consider your options

Parents of children with iPhones/iPods (Touch) will be happy to know that the folks at Apple have parental control tools built right into the devices. Here's what you do to enable them:

ENABLING PARENTAL CONTROLS ON iPHONES/iPOD TOUCH DEVICES.
1. Go to Settings > General > Restrictions.
2. Tap to turn on the restrictions.
3. Enter a 4 digit passcode (you will be asked to confirm).
4. Disable applications/content as desired (Safari, YouTube, explicit content from iTunes, etc.)

Content Filtering
If you are looking for content-filtering apps for iPod/iPhone as well as Windows Mobile 6 and above - I've listed a few here.

BSecure (FREE, iPhone/iPod)
Mobicip (iPhone/iPod)
iWonder (iPhone/iPod)
CovenantEyes Mobile (Christian-based, iPhone/iPod, Windows Mobile)
SafeEyes Mobile (iPhone/iPod)

Monitoring Software
NetNanny is a trusted name in protecting children online and they offer a mobile solution with no content-filtering, but many useful monitoring features. It seems that almost every smartphone out there will be compatible with their solution, so if you've decided to incorporate cellphone monitoring unto your approach, they're probably worth trying out.



Note: This article is written purely because of my concerns as a parent and family-advocate. I have no experience with any of the above solutions, but mention them here as a result of personal research. If you are a parent seeking to keep the lines of communication open with your children, some useful talking points are provided here and here.

Sundays in My City - Blanchisseuse

This is part of Unknown Mami's Sundays in My City. 

Go visit her and travel the world to visit Sundays in other cities!

Absent Minded Mama, or 3 Signs you Need to Slow It Down!

Somewhere in my childhood I was told that "Boredom is a state of mind". It was probably drummed into my enterprising young mind by some well-meaning teacher back in the pre-videogame and cable-tv days here in Trinidad, and clearly it took hold, because I could always find ways to keep myself occupied.

• Paint T-shirts and sell them to friends - check.
• Crochet and beaded chokers, bracelets and necklaces for sale and as gifts - check.
• Teach myself to play the guitar, and practice for hours on end - check. (Eric Clapton, you are still my hero!)
• Adventure with BFFs to picnic on the mountainside, or beaches near and far - check.

I was constantly busy, and it was a badge of honour to me. "Boredom is just a state of mind" was my mantra and response to teenaged friends complaining of having nothing to do (Oh the dagger eyes I must have gotten behind my back!).

Many years later Motherhood came knocking, and I welcomed her in with open arms and a wink, fully prepared to work hard at this business of "busyness" she was bringing my way. I knew it was going to be a lot, but look at the rewards! How could you NOT embrace it?

What I didn't expect was how sleep deprivation can drive you to tears (this is NOTHING like college!). Or how fears of what world we'd be leaving the next generation would take over my mind, squeezing into what little space was not completed devoted to making sure the kids were safe, and well-fed, and encouraged to learn, and loved.

Most of all loved.

And passion for something you love can motivate you like nothing else can. It gives you purpose and committment, helping you juggle all the balls Life throws at you with ease.

The trouble is, you get so used to juggling, you think you can always fit in one more ball.

How can you tell when you have too many balls in the air? Well here are 3 examples from my own life.


3. Habit Hello aka Revolving Respects.
My brain is so detached from what I'm doing, because it's already onto the next task on the To-Do list, that I get caught in one of those annoying cycles:

"Hey. How are ya?"
"Good! How are you?"
"I'm fine. How you doing?"
**crickets** (ahem. quick exit stage right)

2. Lights, Darks and Pasta. 
One night while putting away the towels, I somehow managed to put my dinner on top of the pile of newly-washed and folded towels. I sat down to eat and couldn't for the life of me remember where I had put my own plate. A round of "find Mom's dinner" ensued, much to the entertainment of the rest of the family.

1. I am Legend Grandma. 
If I were in one of those zombie movies, I wouldn't be the female version of Will Smith, I'd be the damn zombie. Nodding off at the keyboard in the middle of typing up an email or doing some research is sadly, quite the norm.



I'm busier now than I could have ever dreamed as a teenager and while I have no desire to turn back the clock, perhaps there are some things I could learn from teenaged me.



5. Relationships are important.
Need I say more?

4. Leisure time is not optional. Neither is sleep.
Research suggests that sleep deprivation may increase the risk of developing diabetes and high blood pressure, in turn increasing health risks to the brain. Vicious cycle. On the other hand, we're finding out more and more about the benefits of adequate sleep.

3. Be present in the moment. 
When I look back at the type of activities I was involved in back then, they all allowed for a certain amount of meditation. I was fully tuned in to what I was doing, and distractions were shut out. I wasn't thinking about the next thing... just about enjoying what I was doing right at that moment.

2. Take time out for you. 
This should go without saying, but many mothers get into the habit of neglecting to spend time on themselves. We get into a cycle of perpetual sacrifice. And while that might be ok when we're talking giving up a Spa Weekend so that the money could be used on say healthcare and groceries, putting yourself consistently last is not good for anyone. I don't need to sell you on the benefits of this one. Call it a sanity-break (or insanity break) but just go out there and do it.

1. Learn to say No.
I struggled with this one as a teenager, and as an adult. But back then, the rebellious side of me would absolutely refuse to go along with anything that I knew in my gut to be a bad idea. As Moms we tend to want to accomodate, but you know what? Not only can you not do it all, but it makes no sense to try to do so!


It's like the story of the old man, the young boy and the donkey walking through town. No matter which way they rode the donkey (old man alone, young man alone, both together) onlookers grumbled that they were doing it wrong. Eventually, they tried the only thing they hadn't tried - both of them carrying the donkey down the road. As they came to a river and tried to cross the bridge, the donkey fell over and drowned. Moral: You're never going to please everyone, and if you try, you may as well kiss your a$$ goodbye. :-)


Do you need to slow down? I'd love to hear your stories... :-)

(Inspired by this post at Nifer Musings)

Deadbeat Dad

I never talk about him.

He has never been a part of my life, so quite naturally there has never been anything discuss. You can’t discuss something you don’t know, or to which you have had no exposure. That’s not a mask for hate or bitterness. It just is what it is.

So absent was he from my life that I have a high school friend who recently revealed she’d always assumed he died when I was a child.

But he didn’t die. And my parents didn’t divorce. There was no mourning, no loss.

I wondered of course, about the concept of father. About the individual who contributed to my birth. Other people at school had fathers. Where was mine?

I never did get a satisfactory answer, although I was promised that I would meet him when I was older. One day. When I was eighteen.

But “one day” came much sooner than expected. I suppose my family thought they were doing something good. They invited him to my fifth birthday party. My recollection of it – my excitement to see him turned suddenly to confusion and then fear. He tried to shove a crumpled up piece of paper ($100 bill) in my hand while instructing me not to tell my mother. Tangled up in the paper was a gold necklace with a pendant, with a pendant he insisted I read – “I’ll never STOP loving you”. I remember he had some terrible things to say about my mother, none of which I understood (or recall) but I’d had a tough enough childhood to be able to spot a liar. And here was one in front of me who wouldn’t let me go.

I screamed.

My mother came and reassured me quietly, releasing me and asking me to go upstairs to my room. She never raised her voice, but as I looked back over my shoulder relieved to get away, she looked very much like a tigress.

There were a handful of “second chances” which were similarly botched. Plans to collect me after school, except he forgot, and I sat there waiting as the school emptied and the nuns took me into the convent to give me a little dinner and try to reach my mother (pre-cell phone days). Or when he worked up a little underhanded plan where my grandmother would ask to keep me for the weekend, and hand me over to him when I got to her house. Little did she know he wouldn’t be at the house for the weekend, and instead I got to know his children and his new wife, who begged him to give up the partying for one weekend while “the child” was there.

I do not say this to vilify him.

He is not a bad man. In fact he is quite popular, and the life of the party.

But when 5 children via 4 different women choose not to have you in their life… chances are you’ve failed as a parent.

Don’t you dare feel sorry for me.

I am very much aware of the stereotype. And I am not the typical West Indian child abandoned by her father.

There’s no question I was denied.

He wanted the status of the white Canadian woman, and to claim his half-white baby. I was a complication to that plan. Not his child.

But it is no reflection on me.

That is his weakness, his failure, not mine.

I learned a long time ago not to feel sorry for myself. Oh sure there were times I cried my soul out trying to find answers that no-one could give. I cried along with Will in that episode of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” – do you know the one? I asked myself the same question he did (5:00). But even while I anguished over the question, I never said it out loud.

Some questions just have no good answer.

And besides what was I going to do with any answer? Carry it around on a billboard to prove to the world I was worth something despite that? I mean really, despite what? Despite him not choosing to be a man?

It is no reflection on me that my father chose not to be present in my life.

Let me say that again.

To the little girls out there who have never seen their father’s face. To those whose fathers have chosen to move on, leaving them behind. To those whose parents have lost sight of the precious lives to which they are beholden.  

It is no reflection on you that your father is not a part of your life.

That is not who you are.

Those are the circumstances in which you find yourself.

And circumstance. Does not. Define you.

What you make of your circumstances does.

What you choose to make of your circumstances, is the substance of who you are.

I am blessed. I am surrounded by good friends, laughter and love.

It is what I choose to be.

Choose to be.

Calling all Caribbean Mamas!

Ever since I was the Featured Blogger over at SITS in May, I've been thinking about my voice. When I started blogging, I did my very best to stay anonymous. But as a local social pundit has since reminded me - it's impossible to remain anonymous on an island like this.

As more and more fellow Trinis found and followed me, I became much more thoughtful about what I would blog about, uncomfortable with the idea of meeting someone who I barely knew but who felt they knew all about me because they've read my blog.

In May when so many wonderful bloggers stopped by to say hello, I was surprised to find that there are a number of Caribbean bloggers on SITS. How wonderful to find them and hear their voices!

Well I've thought long and hard, and I've decided that I need to be me despite the fact that I am losing my anonymity.

Not only that, but 

I've started on a search for bloggers with Caribbean roots 

who are writing about their experiences as wives, mothers and women. 

My hope is that we can carve out a little space in the Blogosphere to make it a little easier for us to find each other.

If you or someone you know fits this description, or if you are interested in hearing the Caribbean perspective, please join me at 

http://CaribbeanMamas.webs.com

Nicole

CSN Stores Review and Giveaway

**This contest is now closed and the winner has been contacted via email. **

**If you entered, check your email to see if the winner is YOU!**

World Cup 2010 is ON!

Germany beat Australia soundly 4:0 showing superior control of the ball than any other team yet to play so far.

Certainly much better than in the England vs USA match where the England goalie somehow let the ball slip through his fingers to allow the USA to tie the game 1:1.

The JABULANI - the ball designed by adidas for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa - has been much maligned by the players in the last few weeks, and the goalies in particular have not liked it. In my opinion "The Roundest Ball Ever" seems to me to be floating through the air once it leaves the ground. Watching the keepers try to save is like watching kids try to catch a balloon, or a really small beach-ball.

Why would you want to create the "Roundest Ball Ever" anyway? It seems to me that if the ball doesn't lose its shape when it's kicked, you're employing physics to change the way force is normally distributed through a ball, making it behave totally differently than, well, a ball. Only time will tell what impact that has on these games.

It would be a shame if it did leave a negative mark on this World Cup. It is really a special thing seeing what South Africa has to offer, and energy of the crowd gives me goosebumps at every game! The music, the rhythm sections, the horns, it just sounds like home. It sounds like what the Cricket World Cup in the West Indies should have sounded like.... but that's a whole other story.

But secretly the best thing about the World Cup for me, is watching it with my husband. My normally reserved and quiet husband comes alive for sports, and he becomes the life of the party. He's especially passionate about football (no I will not call it soccer. It's football all around the world people!) and his knowledge of the game and his sense of humour come together to have all the spectators rolling with laughter, or on the edge of their seat with excitement!

Today we made it a family affair, watching all the games together with the boys and the baby. We started with a late breakfast and took in the Serbia vs Ghana match. Then it was onto a feast of stewed duck, potato & green fig salad, and callaloo, with some icy Fruit Punch slushies.

I pulled out my new fave kitchen appliance - the Deni Automatic Ice Crusher I got from Cookware.com.

One tray of ice, finely crushed, Fruit Punch, a splash of Angostura bitters, and a touch of Appleton's for the grown-ups and it's celebration time!

We actually got this for the kids, for hot muggy days where they could do with a sno-cone to cool them down. The ice doesn't get as finely crushed as a real sno-cone, but it's fine for us. And it has the added bonus of being great for entertaining guests. I do recommend making sure the crushed-ice collector is chilled before you start crushing the ice, otherwise you do get some melt there.

I also recommend that you check out Cookware.com who provided us with the gift certificate we used toward this little lovely. They honestly have so many great products I don't know how I never checked them out before. We were torn between a waffle-maker and a bread-maker initially, but since no-one eats waffles but me, and half the family doesn't eat bread... we opted for something we could all use!

Checkout, shipping, delivery, everything was very smooth, and the hardest part really was deciding on the purchase. Cookware.com is part of the CSN Stores network which consists of over 200 online stores offering pretty much everything you can imagine.

If you haven't checked them out before, you really should now. And to make it easier for you to do that, they are offering a $25 Gift Card good at any of CSN Stores 200+ online stores!


Here are the rules:

REQUIRED ENTRY:
1. Visit CSN Stores and choose something you'd get if you won the $25 GC. Then come back here and leave me a comment telling me what you chose. If your email address is not in your profile, you must put it in your comment or you can't win. (How will they email you your GC, right?)
2. Follow me publicly in Google Friend Connect over to the left there in my sidebar.

******

Optional extra entries: Leave a separate comment for each entry.

~Follow me on twitter @trinmom - 1 entry (leave username)

~Subscribe by email (remember to activate) - 1 entry (leave your email address)

~Tweet the giveaway- may be done once daily - 1 entry (leave link to your tweet)

Copy and paste the following:

Enter to win a $25 Gift Certificate from @CSNStores #giveaway hosted by @trinmom http://ow.ly/1XV8F

~Add my button to your blog - 1 entry (leave link to your blog)

You have until midnight on June 29th , 2010 to enter (EST). One winner will be randomly selected and will have 48 hours to respond to the notification email I will send. If the initial winner does not respond within this time a new winner will be chosen. Open to US residents (sorry International peeps, there'll be another one for you soon I promise).

Good luck! Now if you'll excuse me, the game's back on... :-)

DISCLAIMER: I received a $25 Gift Certificate to purchase an item from CSN Stores to review. No other compensation was received and this review is based solely on my honest opinion and experience.

A Mother's Journey

Last weekend the hubby and I packed up the kids and drove an hour along the coast to find a little peace and tranquility. And find it we did.

The little village of Blanchisseuse offered us sand, sea and surf, with the Marianne River just a 5 minute walk away from the little apartment we rented for the weekend.

It also gave us such a treat - sighting of 4 endangered leatherback turtles.

I've seen nesting turtles before, but it was a first for the hubby and kids. And after the encounter my husband, lover of "wild meat" hunted from the bush, officially blacklisted turtle from his menu.

Leatherback turtles spend their lives roaming the open sea, and only the females come back to shore to nest. The giant turtles (a guide estimated that 1 weighed over 1500 lbs) pull themselves up to a high point hopefully above the line of high-tide, and begin the arduous process of digging a hole deep enough for the eggs to be safe from predators. It's hard work, even without lugging all that weight around, and it's heartwrenching to see the turtles appear to gasp in exhaustion.

When she's done, she begins the journey back to sea, taking many stops to catch her breath. Amazingly, once she gets into water mere inches deep, with the next wave she completely disappears in the blink of an eye. Seriously, blink and you'll miss it.

Unfortunately, Blanchisseuse dogs are good at digging, so some nests are lost despite Mama Turtle's best efforts. Also, there seem to be so many turtles coming in to nest on the same narrow strip of beach, that some nests are uncovered by other turtles looking for a good nesting site.

The odds are against these maternal giants, but they don't give up. Well-meaning tourists taking flash-aided photos scare off incoming turtles (they only nest at night). The poor things return to deeper water to try their luck again later on.

Even harder to see is what the bright lights do to turtles who've lugged themselves up onto land and making their way to a nesting site, or already digging a hole. They become distraught by the white lights of the flash and abandon laying to make the tiring journey back out to sea, to rejuvenate themselves and try another time.

Professional nature photographers and nature guides use lights on the red spectrum since this doesn't bother the turtles.

We tagged along with a team from National Geographic who spotted nesting turtles we missed in the darkness of the beach. Along with some local tour guides, they taught us that nesting patterns are changing for the leatherback.

Previously, nesting turtles returned only to the beaches where they themselves hatched, some amazing internal compass guiding them back to the very same stretch of sand where they began their journeys.

Now, turtles are beginning to be seen here that come from as far away as Australia! What a journey that must have been!

It seems that the home beaches are becoming too polluted or too unsuitable for nesting and the turtles are seeking refuge elsewhere.

I remember in my childhood that we'd go turtlewatching and the guides would stress that there was no guarantee that we'd even see one turtles. Now... the beaches are covered with them.

As happy as I am to see them, and experience this, it worries me.

What are we doing to our Earth?

And with respect to the Gulf of Mexico oil spill - what effect will this have on the next turtle nesting period? Have we finally gone too far to recover from?

The planet we share doesn't belong to us as individuals or even as "countries". Political borders for human governance mean nothing to our environment. I keep hearing about this oil spill being the worst "in US history" and it sickens me.

This isn't about the US. It's much larger than that.

An international effort is required to try to salvage this situation, BP's pride and pockets be damned.

Before the Earth we planned to share with our children is changed irrevocably right before our eyes.


We did not inherit the land from our fathers. We are borrowing it from our children. -Amish Proverb'


For ways you can help with the Gulf disaster go here:
Armchair missions
Active missions

Sundays in My City - A T-Rex named Sue

We recently took the kids to see a travelling Dinosaur Exhibit - "A T-Rex Named Sue".

Sue's skeleton is the most complete T-Rex skeleton every discovered.

The exhibit is on loan from The Field Museum in Chicago - learn more here.

This is part of Unknown Mami's Sundays in My City. Go visit her and travel the world to visit Sundays in other cities!

Sensory Punches

Ears

APPY DAY TO YOU!

How sweet...

The baby is singing...

At the top of her lungs...

At. 4. AM.

Quick. Where is her mute button?

Heart
In the car, while playing guessing games with Boy #2 on the way to school


"Mom, you are not just my mother. You're my sister too..."

How heart-melty.

ALL my senses

Someone broke into the little parlour/shop in front of my sister-in-law's house.

They stole chicken and other goods.

Dummy left his slippers outside the door though...

Which is how we know it's a neighbourhood pest.

So what do you do - force him into rehab? Revolving door jail?






And all this before 8 a.m.

Mummenschanz

Do you remember seeing the Mummenschanz on the Muppet Show back in the 70s?

I was fascinated by this...


But I will forever remember my childhood fascination with the Red guy in "B"...


Hope you enjoyed this 70's Flashback!

Wanna know how Monkey is doing?

Let her Mama tell you herself!

Thanks to everyone keeping Monkey in mind and in prayer.

iPad testing review scam!

I'm still catching up on the blogs of my 200+ visitors a week ago, but I had to let you know about this scam.

I just got an email from a company letting me know about an opportunity to review and keep an iPad. They were "apparently" referred by a fellow blogger.

Be on your guard folks, this is definitely a scam.

The problem is that it looks so realistic, and the personal "recommendation" makes it so believable (especially in these circles) that you may let your guard down a little and not spot the inconsistencies until it's too late.

Check this out here for a copy of what the email may look like (it is EXACTLY what mine looked like). 

If you've gotten this email and signed up, immediately change your password. For good measure, scan your machine with your anti-virus program, or with MalwareBytes AntiMalware. 

If for some reason you're using Windows and don't have up-to-date antivirus software installed, you have two free options available to you that I'd recommend - Avira or Avast.

Always make sure your anti-virus is kept up-to-date and set to scan your computer regularly.

Be safe out there folks....

Sundays in My City - Before the Rains

We've been suffering a pretty severe drought of late, but the rains have come along with the month of May, as they always do.

They say when the Yellow Poui is in full blossom, the rains will come.

I'm blessed to see that tree on the way to work every morning.

I took the family to cool off at the beach the other day. Everyone had a great time...

Kayaking in Williams Bay, Chaguaramas.

On this day, there was lots of food and drink on sale.

And after all that food, we were glad to laze under the shade of these big old trees,

while the kids still had energy to run and play.

Lots of open space to run and play, and enjoy being kids.

We were sorry we had to leave when the sun started going down...

...but we promised to do it again soon.

This is part of Unknown Mami's Sundays in My City. Go visit her and travel the world to visit Sundays in other cities!

Introducing Little Diva

Remember when I told you about my morning serenades?

Well the handy old Flip must only come out on birthdays,

because this is what I get when Little Diva catches sight of it...

Excuse the "lawn", we're just emerging from a pretty severe drought. :-)

Wishing a 'Appy Day to you all!

Thank you SITS girls!

I had a fantastic time being the Featured Blogger on SITS yesterday!

I've been lurking around some of your blogs and I'm going to be touching base with everyone who stopped by, but it's going to take me a little while... So many of you stopped by and left me such great comments!

Some of you literally made me laugh out loud!

Yes, T&T can be a great place for Spring Break. And yes, a season of MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge was filmed on location here. And yes Trini girls are some of the most beautiful I've seen (it's the mix of cultures and races!) and some have gone on to win Miss Universe (I remember Wendy in her school uniform - we went to the same school!)

To all of you who stopped by - moms, not yet moms, don't wanna be moms, etc - thanks for making it a special day!

Nicole

It's MY Day!

I've been singing it loud for the entire family to hear whether they care or not - It's MY day today!

Today, I am the Featured Blogger over at SITS.*

Which means that for a lot of you visiting today, it's your first time here! To you I send a

"Warm Welcome from Trinidad!"

 I know that while you may be new to Trinidad and new to my blog, many of you are all too familiar with the inspiration for my blog's name...

You know it... You wake up one day and you start hearing phrases coming out of your mouth that you swore you'd never let pass your lips when you had your own kids... And you gain a sudden new appreciation for your Mother's perspective on life and raising children... And you ask yourself...

"When did I become my Mom?"

It happens to the best of us... You find one day that you're juggling the life you had, and the life your family now asks of you. Sometimes we're faced with tough challenges and unreasonable demands, and sometimes it seems life throws you some really tough curve balls by taking on your little ones.

But for me, if I had to choose, I wouldn't want it any other way. I heard it once said that "deciding to be a mother is deciding to let ur heart live outside of u for the rest of your life" and I think that captures exactly how I feel about this thing called Motherhood.

For those of you stopping by for the first time, I hope you'll stay a while and I hope you'll come back to visit. :-)

And for those of you who already stop by to visit me - thanks for sharing this ride with me and welcoming me into such an awesome community of women.

* I love those SITS girls - they've introduced me to so many great bloggers and taught me so much about blogging and optimizing my blog. Love 'em! If you don't know what I'm talking about you need to go visit them and tell them I sent you!!

Mission Monkey

Guys,

If you know about Jaden Duttine, you know about the effects of Childhood Neuroblastoma.

Michelle, from Momma's Pixie Dreams, felt a marble sized lump on her little monkey's neck last week. Neuroblastoma. Just like Jaden. She's 16 months old.

There is going to be a fundraiser of some sort - things are being worked out right now. "DAILY DOSE OF REALITY'S" Ian is organizing. Check him out for updates.

In the meantime, please visit Michelle, leave her a kind word, say a prayer, spread the word. They are going to need all the support they can get.

Here's the code if you want to put a button on your blog to raise awareness:

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Michelle our thoughts are with you and your family...

Friendships and Heartbreak

It's been a trying week.

Beyond trying... It's been an emotionally exhausting week.

Two of my dearest friends are separating. And because this is their story I will not dwell on it. But I will say that it's made me think so much. I've been listening to both sides for months. My heart has hurt for everyone involved but I have always felt there was hope and there is still love. I hope that there still is love and that separation will bring certain realities into focus. And maybe spur more energy into communication... dare I think reconciliation?

Selfishly I feel a sense of loss for what I have lost as well. No more early Christmas morning get-togethers before we head off to separate family commitments. No more family weekends at the beach. Birthdays will be different for sure.

Will I have to choose?

I don't want to choose a side. I am compassionate to both and I get them both... I wish they could get each other the same way.


Added to that bombshell... the crippling reality that one of my closest friends from childhood is migrating with her family. Another one... All my girls who dreamed dreams with me where our kids would play together while we grew old. :-) It's bitter - there's no sweet here - and it's a reality that I've tried to ignore.

I went to visit her this week before she left for good. We managed to laugh and chat like normal until it was time for me to go. Then I cried like a baby. :-)

She's always been like a big sister to me. I'm talking childhood antics, teenage rebellion, first loves, first heartbreaks, women's rights, marriage, kids, family, love. We've gone through them all.

I will miss her dearly. And while there is email and Facebook and Skype... it really just isn't the same is it?



 I thank God for these... it would be really hard to make it through this time without them. :-)