I had a weird kind of writer's block tonight. I had too much to talk about. I wanted to talk to you about blogging after reading an interesting post over at Blogrollers. And I have this whole other post I want to write on motherhood - I already have the title picked out - Mommy Wars. :-) Another one is inspired by words my friend and mentor said to me that I've never forgotten. But what I'm fascinated with right now, is Illusions.
A few weeks ago heading into town, I noticed this other driver in her SUV. She seemed so remote. And I don't mean daydreaming and distant, I mean deliberately shut off from everyone else. Windows up, doors locked, and some very loud body language. Something about the situation struck me. The way she had created her own world, aloof in her own armoured cocoon.
Now the intersection we were approaching is known to have these "squeegee kids" who hustle for a few dollars there wiping people's windshields - often whether they like it or not. Maybe she was bracing mentally for that. Was she afraid she'd be robbed? Didn't want to deal with the hustle? Whatever the reason, I was fascinated by the way her mind had created this "safe" place for her, where she was intent on tuning them (or the rest of the world) out. And it made me think about the power of the mind.
For example, I'm afraid of heights. Do. Not. Like. Heights. But sometimes you can't avoid it. There's this road that my husband takes often (left up to me I would avoid it like the plague). It winds up and along a hill, and has a lovely view overlooking the entire capital city and the sea beyond. Photo at lyndersaydigital.com
Until recently, I would feel my breath get shallow, and I would grip the seat, and totally freeze when we drive on this road. So much do I hate this road that it has become a fixture in my recurring dreams, where the hillside has become barren and rocky and I am trying to cross insurmountable obstacles like gaps in the road, or huge boulder landslides. Over the years, I've tried to distract myself with different techniques. And I find I can now have a conversation while going over the hill and I can breathe.
And here's the thing - nothing changed except my mental state. Statistically and physically, the road is no safer and no more dangerous than it ever was. But for me it IS so much safer. Granted the kids must still sit very quietly, and I still can't look over at the view. For this Illusion to hold, I still need imagine that there's no drop off at the side of the road, but it's progress, no?
I've set my mind to making what used to be an ordeal into a more tolerable experience. The human mind is amazing that way. What does your state of mind help you to do?
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