The Human Spirit

Today my husband called and warned me not to look at a local newspaper's front page coverage of the devastation in Haiti. It seems the goodly folk at decided to emblazon their front page with a photograph of a Haitian man being dragged through the streets there being beaten (to death it seems) by some angry men.

I was speechless for a while. Sickened, then angry.

I understand that the situation in Haiti is desperate. It has been wrenching my heart since I first heard about it.

To the newspapers and their boards - you don't need to graphically portray the worst of it in order to get me to buy your newspaper.

That is a human being. A life being snuffed out. Through desperation and despair that I hope I never have to experience. He deserves better than to be used to get today's sales up.

I appreciate that journalism is about documenting the facts, even if those facts are distasteful. However, how you choose to share these facts with the public is the difference between a salacious rag, and a reputable institution.

I consider CNN to be a reputable institution, and I have followed some of their stories on the developments in  Haiti. CNN's photo coverage comes complete with an interactive warning over the more potentially disturbing  photographs, which the reader can click away to reveal the image, if they so choose.

Thank you CNN (and others) for respecting that I am one of those people that is haunted by upsetting images for years after they are thrust upon me. And to the other local newspapers that covered Haiti without the sensationalism, thank you for understanding that all journalism isn't appropriate for consumption by children, who will inevitably see your front page coverage once it gets home.

Truth be told, much of my following of Haiti's earthquake has been via social media - Twitter and blogs in particular. In addition to my regular tweeps, I've followed the RedCross, MSNBC and various CNN correspondents who've been reporting from the ground in Haiti.

I've also found other amazing people like Virginia Montanez who was so instrumental in getting the focus on the BRESMA orphanage in particular and orphanages in general in the aftermath of last Tuesday.

The human/social perspective has really helped save a lot of lives, and mobilize a lot of aid that I believe would have otherwise been less and taken a much longer time to get to Haiti.

The early descriptions and photos of the damage brought home the enormity of the situation in a very timely way, and really reached the hearts of fellow human beings.

For me, it really reinforced the belief I hold that most humans do care, and do want to do good by their fellow man. I have been so heartened by the absolute outpouring of support and donations of time and effort, in addition to more tangible donations of relief/aid.

It has been so good to hear so much news on the generosity of the human spirit, instead of the usual focus on humanity at its worst. That, in turn, has inspired more and more hope. And more help.

I shudder to think what would have happened to relief efforts if the only window into Haiti we were given was the sensational coverage that masqueraded as journalism today.

Coverage that inspires fear and horror and de-humanizes human suffering. That would have you believe that Haitians are like animals in the streets with no dignity.

Instead of fellow human beings suffering through incomprehensible tragedy, carrying themselves with a respect and dignity that we'd do well to remember on a daily basis.

the haitian spirit.
people waiting patiently for h2o under hot sun.
no armed guards. no pushing.
obvious respect for one another.

Thank you Dr Gupta for your compassion, for what you continue to do to help people in the field hospitals, and for sharing with us another perspective of Haiti.

It's all in your head...

I had a weird kind of writer's block tonight. I had too much to talk about. I wanted to talk to you about blogging after reading an interesting post over at Blogrollers. And I have this whole other post I want to write on motherhood - I already have the title picked out - Mommy Wars. :-) Another one is inspired by words my friend and mentor said to me that I've never forgotten. But what I'm fascinated with right now, is Illusions.

A few weeks ago heading into town, I noticed this other driver in her SUV. She seemed so remote. And I don't mean daydreaming and distant, I mean deliberately shut off from everyone else. Windows up, doors locked, and some very loud body language. Something about the situation struck me. The way she had created her own world, aloof in her own armoured cocoon.

Now the intersection we were approaching is known to have these "squeegee kids" who hustle for a few dollars there wiping people's windshields - often whether they like it or not. Maybe she was bracing mentally for that. Was she afraid she'd be robbed? Didn't want to deal with the hustle? Whatever the reason, I was fascinated by the way her mind had created this "safe" place for her, where she was intent on tuning them (or the rest of the world) out. And it made me think about the power of the mind.

For example, I'm afraid of heights. Do. Not. Like. Heights. But sometimes you can't avoid it. There's this road that my husband takes often (left up to me I would avoid it like the plague). It winds up and along a hill, and has a lovely view overlooking the entire capital city and the sea beyond. Photo at lyndersaydigital.com

Until recently, I would feel my breath get shallow, and I would grip the seat, and totally freeze when we drive on this road. So much do I hate this road that it has become a fixture in my recurring dreams, where the hillside has become barren and rocky and I am trying to cross insurmountable obstacles like gaps in the road, or huge boulder landslides. Over the years, I've tried to distract myself with different techniques. And I find I can now have a conversation while going over the hill and I can breathe.

And here's the thing - nothing changed except my mental state. Statistically and physically, the road is no safer and no more dangerous than it ever was. But for me it IS so much safer. Granted the kids must still sit very quietly, and I still can't look over at the view. For this Illusion to hold, I still need imagine that there's no drop off at the side of the road, but it's progress, no?

I've set my mind to making what used to be an ordeal into a more tolerable experience. The human mind is amazing that way. What does your state of mind help you to do?

So when DID I become my mother???

I used to be the Fun Aunt, and the grade-school teacher whose class you wanted to be in. Parents were soooo out of touch. Don't they remember they were young once too? I got the psychology of it. The practical fun of it. When I had my boys - 2yrs apart - I treasured them. I didn't get pulled into tantrums, I distracted them. And they were happy. I was patient. I remember saying out loud - those people screaming at their kids in the mall... that's no good for anyone! And if they didn't want kids they shouldn't have had them.

Gulp. So when did I lose sight of all that. And become my mom? And my neighbour? When did I stop having fun watching them be kids, and start trying to make them perfect?

I heard myself the other day. My 8-yr old was being particularly mean to his little brother, and I tried to reprimand him and just totally lost my cool. As I yelled at him, I heard myself. And I heard my neighbours' mom. The screaming lady. Oh my gosh. I've become the screaming lady.

This isn't supposed to happen! We're Generation X! We can choose to do what we want... on our terms... We are in control of our destiny! I don't want to be the out of touch mom who isn't taken seriously unless she yells. I want to be the mom who's sitting out there, having fun with her kids. But maybe there is room for "You'll spoil your eyes" Mom in there too.

I'm just going to have to find my own way...