Homework battles

My first you're-out-of-school-now-whatcha-gonna-do-with-yourself job was teaching.

I loved it.

Still love it, even though I don't teach anymore (aka became an I.T. nerd instead).

I dream about being able to homeschool my babas one day... although I know that's probably not ever going to happen...

So I make do by being as involved as I can with my kids and their education. Or at least I used to.

I used to go through all the day's work with them to make sure they really understood the lesson. Made sure all homework was done. Pick up on problem areas and try to show practical examples in everyday life that would reinforce the concept and help teach the lesson. All that good stuff.

Then I had the baby 16mths ago.

I still did homework with the boys, but it was getting a little difficult to squeeze everyone in...

Then came the layoff, job search, starting to freelance.

I will admit, homework suffered. Their dad took up some of the slack, but I just couldn't get in there like I used to. I mean I made sure it was done - asked to see it and glance through to make sure it looked ok. But nothing rigorous, and not strictly every day like before.

Once things started to settle down a little bit, I tried to get back into the homework and studies thing.

I found that M would tell me his homework was already done and disappear in some corner until I was tired calling for him to get his things for me to check back. One day I was appalled to see not one but MANY Incompletes scribbled in his books. He'd "forget" to do a piece of homework and have to squeeze it in while at school. I was appalled.

How could this happen to me? To my kid?

BAD MOM!

Ok so I try to be more vigilant and really get in there every single day, but that's so much easier than it sounds when the baby's feeding time, the boys' homework time and dinner prep all needs to happen at the same time.

Sometimes I'm just so tired and overwhelmed I just accept the "I did it at school and Miss checked it back already". This generally came from G - the older boy, and I thought it was a little odd, but I let it go.

Then one day it really bothered me - why is all his homework done at school now? Shouldn't I be able to get involved? Even if the homework is done in class, shouldn't the books at least be sent home and not collected until the next day? It IS homework after all?

Stupid me.

Seriously.

Stupid me!


On Friday, my husband picked up the boys from school, only to have the teacher come to the door, reprimand him loudly for not making sure G does his homework, and that she's fed up of it, turn on her heel and head back inside.

While he stood there with his jaw hanging. Dumbstruck and speechless.

Now her attitude aside (bet that conversation would have happened differently if I was there. I can relate to her frustration, but I wish she'd have said something before, or called us in or something), I cannot begin to explain how upset this makes me.

First of all my poor husband had to stand there and take this, probably feeling like he was in the Twilight Zone. This guy hears the homework conversations every day. Sees me checking back M's homework. And hears me griping about why I can't be checking back G's homework. And why can't I even see the homework notebook to see what homework's being given?

All this time, I was being fed well... no other word for it... lies. My 9 year old decided to lie to me on a daily basis to get out of doing homework? How long had this been going on? Why didn't I know?

Sometimes I think I just have to be the dumbest mom on the planet. How could I not see through that?

I'm so disappointed in my son. And in myself for allowing other things to distract me from my kids issues so much that they could carve out a little place where they would be safe telling lies.

It's Carnival!

Carnival 2010 is over.

But that's ok, planning for Carnival 2011 has begun ;-)

To those who have never experienced it, words can never do it justice. It is an energy. A cultural phenomenon. A feeling and passion.

My 16 mth old has only to hear the music to start jumping and dancing... that one will play mas'. (What's the saying? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.....)

I missed out on a lot this year, staying home with my babies. One misses a lot with a 16 month old. But that's ok.

2011 will soon be here, and with it more music, more passion and more energy.

I did make it to one party this year - an all-inclusive (one cover price takes care of everything) Breakfast Party.

There were local fruits and breakfast foods, local coffee, and of course enough alcohol to satisfy the most selective of party-goers!

Tents and tents of this...

Next year, I need to get me one of these... (the glass not the holder... already got me one o those!)

Being up close to the stage was cool... 

Being inside someone's front yard next to the stage instead of in the middle of this... even better...

The heat started to come up by mid-morning, and it was time for the bubbles and misters.

But a little time for chocolate-dipped strawberries and marshmallows (Valentine's Day after all)...

...before heading off to the after-party at the pool to cool off.

All in all not a bad way to spend a Valentine's Day/Carnival Sunday...

Just you wait Carnival 2011 - I'm already getting ready for you!

Getting back into the swing of things...

It's been ages since I last posted. Life took hold of me, shook the keyboard from my clutches and turned me around. We've had illnesses, and triumphs and disappointments. But everyone's ok (more or less). :-)

I've been meaning to write for about a week, but so much time has passed I didn't know where to start!

So here I am, taking the plunge, and getting right back into it.

I have a neighbourkids update for you! If you don't know what I'm talking about check out this post to get all caught up.

Ok so for a while things continued much as they always did - younger NK would appear at the door with his cheery self, BUT he does now get that sometimes it's too early and he needs to come back. He really does have quite a fun personality. Very impulsive. Very energetic. It can be quite a challenge to hold back a laugh at some of his antics. Like his "special move" in Wii Sports tennis. Remind me to demonstrate some time... ;-)

Older NeighbourKid - not as much fun. He just seemed to find a way to push people's buttons, and I'm still not sure why. As a matter of fact, one night all the grownups and kids were all hanging out and he was so rude to his mother throughout that whole night that I really thought long and hard about talking to her to find out why she let him act out the way he does.

Not necessary.

A couple nights later, she and I sat around and just hung out at her house, and the child I saw then was a very different child. He was funny, and sweet. And I thought well this must be the child she knows! And it was just too hard for me to tell her how he acts out, because I am convinced now that she would not be amused.

She made it a point to tell me how well-behaved mine were, and that my oldest corrects hers when he's rude to her. Something along the lines of "Dude you can't talk to your mom like that. She's your MOM."

I think now that he knows his mom and I talk, we'll see a lot less acting out, because he knows it could get back to her. He seems to get his moods here and there, but the kids know how to move around him now, and his grumpiness doesn't seem to affect them any more.

So the whole situation seems to have worked itself out for the best. Phew! Weight off my shoulders!

So how have you guys been?

I'll be stopping by to visit starting today. I have lots of catching up to do!

Sundays In My City - Beach Bums

Quiet reflection

Tranquility

Peaceful solitude

Brotherhood

The Human Spirit

Today my husband called and warned me not to look at a local newspaper's front page coverage of the devastation in Haiti. It seems the goodly folk at decided to emblazon their front page with a photograph of a Haitian man being dragged through the streets there being beaten (to death it seems) by some angry men.

I was speechless for a while. Sickened, then angry.

I understand that the situation in Haiti is desperate. It has been wrenching my heart since I first heard about it.

To the newspapers and their boards - you don't need to graphically portray the worst of it in order to get me to buy your newspaper.

That is a human being. A life being snuffed out. Through desperation and despair that I hope I never have to experience. He deserves better than to be used to get today's sales up.

I appreciate that journalism is about documenting the facts, even if those facts are distasteful. However, how you choose to share these facts with the public is the difference between a salacious rag, and a reputable institution.

I consider CNN to be a reputable institution, and I have followed some of their stories on the developments in  Haiti. CNN's photo coverage comes complete with an interactive warning over the more potentially disturbing  photographs, which the reader can click away to reveal the image, if they so choose.

Thank you CNN (and others) for respecting that I am one of those people that is haunted by upsetting images for years after they are thrust upon me. And to the other local newspapers that covered Haiti without the sensationalism, thank you for understanding that all journalism isn't appropriate for consumption by children, who will inevitably see your front page coverage once it gets home.

Truth be told, much of my following of Haiti's earthquake has been via social media - Twitter and blogs in particular. In addition to my regular tweeps, I've followed the RedCross, MSNBC and various CNN correspondents who've been reporting from the ground in Haiti.

I've also found other amazing people like Virginia Montanez who was so instrumental in getting the focus on the BRESMA orphanage in particular and orphanages in general in the aftermath of last Tuesday.

The human/social perspective has really helped save a lot of lives, and mobilize a lot of aid that I believe would have otherwise been less and taken a much longer time to get to Haiti.

The early descriptions and photos of the damage brought home the enormity of the situation in a very timely way, and really reached the hearts of fellow human beings.

For me, it really reinforced the belief I hold that most humans do care, and do want to do good by their fellow man. I have been so heartened by the absolute outpouring of support and donations of time and effort, in addition to more tangible donations of relief/aid.

It has been so good to hear so much news on the generosity of the human spirit, instead of the usual focus on humanity at its worst. That, in turn, has inspired more and more hope. And more help.

I shudder to think what would have happened to relief efforts if the only window into Haiti we were given was the sensational coverage that masqueraded as journalism today.

Coverage that inspires fear and horror and de-humanizes human suffering. That would have you believe that Haitians are like animals in the streets with no dignity.

Instead of fellow human beings suffering through incomprehensible tragedy, carrying themselves with a respect and dignity that we'd do well to remember on a daily basis.

the haitian spirit.
people waiting patiently for h2o under hot sun.
no armed guards. no pushing.
obvious respect for one another.

Thank you Dr Gupta for your compassion, for what you continue to do to help people in the field hospitals, and for sharing with us another perspective of Haiti.

Update on the McMutrie girls and the BRESMA Orphanage

Ali McMutrie and the kids from the BRESMA orphanage arrived safely in Pittsburgh today. Jamie McMutrie will be leaving Port au Prince, Haiti to follow behind shortly.

For those of you who prayed, please keep praying for those left behind in Haiti. For those who donated, thank you!

It is truly amazing what Virginia Montanez has been able to get moving - with a little faith, and a lot of good will and willing hearts, mountains have been moved to bring these children to safety.

The power of Faith, my dear friends. Of believing in a cause, and uniting in support of it.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

Sundays in My City - Family Time

It's been a while since my last SIMC.

I've been busy with lots of projects, and have really neglected my regular posting

Today we took the kids on an outing

but I remembered you, and our Sundays past

and made sure to record memories for you

It's nice to be back. 

Will see you next week!

For my new followers, every Sunday a group of us take a virtual trip around the world visiting each others' cities.

It's all hosted by Unknown Mami.

Feel free to visit, and to join in on the exchange.