Conversations with kids - baby edition

3:30am

The Child: 'Addy (she calls me Daddy. what's up with that?)
                 Pamper (all diapers are Pampers to her)

Me: (peeking at her) Uh huh. Right now? We have to change your pamper right now? How bout say 6-ish?

The Child: Pamper. Pamper? Pamper? Pamper? Pamper? Pamper?

Me: Ok ok. I'm getting up.

Proudly the child stands and, smiling, rips off her diaper to show me she's just pooped. Yay! Someone's ready for potty training!

Really that's a great announcement and I'm really proud of her at 17mths being able to identify when she's peed or pooped and immediately wanting to change her diaper. Potty Training here we come!

Next time maybe we could save the announcements for say... sometime when the sun is in the sky?

Hacked!

Ok so mere hours after I submitted that last post on the Trojan being used to carry out increasingly widespread fraud within the US, and the work at home scam that gets them their "mules", guess what happened?

Well you read the post title so you already know. I was hacked!

My twitter account was hacked, and I sent wonderful Direct Message spam to literally like 100 of my followers. Can you say very red face?! Why very red you say? Well apparently I invited everyone to find out all about how I have better sex. To my followers. To businesses that follow me. And to family. So wonderful to get those messages telling me what I sent them! :-)

So if I spammed you, I am so sorry... I am going to be a little more vigilant and I really hope it never happens again!

My home PC also got a trojan on it that it took me a whole day to get rid of. Sneaky little bugger.

But despite this, because you guys all gave me wonderful feedback and encouraged me to write a few more computer-security related posts, I will!

Later this week I will put up a post on warning signs that your PC may be infected, and what you can do to minimize the risks of infection.

In the meantime, let me tell you what's happening elsewhere in the world. While most of you are freezing your butts off, I'm roasting. It is really really hot here. And I don't say that to make you jealous.

It's just REALLY hot here.

Like water shortage hot.

Like water restrictions in effect hot.

Like public advisories - please limit showers to 3 mins and refrain from using hoses - hot.

Like my lawn is brown and parched and turning to dust hot.

(How the heck are mosquitoes coming back around already? There's no water for them to breed in! What are these? Bionic mosquitoes?)

Anyway, couldja send some of that snow down this way and let it melt over my house? The kids would really appreciate it!

Work at Home scam

Those of you who've followed me for a while know that I work in I.T.
For over 10 years, I've also worked in the Financial Services industry. My mom's a career banker, so I guess you could say it's in my blood.

I've seen a lot scams in my time and I've seen the controls we put in place to alert and mitigate. You could say it's shaped my approach to I.T. so that I'm always risk-aware. I've been told I think like an auditor - and I take that as a compliment.

I've been following some virus activity of late that's at the same time fascinating and worrisome. So worrisome in fact that I decided to interrupt my motherhood blog with "computer-stuff". I do urge you to read on, and promise that I won't make it complicated.

The Virus
'Back in the day' viruses caused catastrophic damage - wiped out hard drives, destroyed documents, etc. Today's viruses a stealthy, hiding invisibly while doing the "baddies" bidding.

They're still spread generally the same way though - a user opens a malicious file and *ta-da* we have an infected PC.

The type of virus I'm talking about in this scenario though, sits silently on the user's PC, logging every key pressed and transmitting the data back to those "baddies". The PC, now under "baddie control" is now considered a bot or a zombie.

The Theft
If the zombie PC happens to be one used for online banking or to process ACH fund transfers (for example for payroll, or to pay vendors), the usernames and passwords associated with their online banking accounts are now in the hands of some pretty clever people up to no good.

The "baddies" change the password and email address associated with the account.

They recruit "mules" - people to receive the money fraudulently.

In the case of ACH (like a wire transfer) Fraud, they create transfers for a number of FALSE employees/recipients. These transfers go to accounts operated by the mules.

The Scope
Companies far and wide are being hit with this ACH Fraud - and that INCLUDES Government agencies!

Companies are being hit with losses to the tune of US$200,000 and more. And while there are an increasing number of reports throughout the US from Maine to DC, there are reports coming from Mexico and further abroad now.

The Recruitment Scam - Don't become a mule!
Not all of the mules are complicit criminals, although some of them are facing fraud charges and real jail time for the roles they have played. The scammers are clever people, and this is big business.


Here's where you need to be aware of.

These guys are posting jobs online. According to some mules claiming innocence, they're using Monster and CareerBuilder and other legitimate avenues to recruit out-of-work people who may be so grateful for work that they overlook some otherwise suspicious details.

They're posting work-at-home opportunities, where you need to setup a bank account to be paid via ACH - Direct Account Transfers.

In one case, the person claims to have been "hired" by a company to manage a project team elsewhere on the globe, and "for expediency" was responsible for transferring funds to pay these guys.

The funds had been stolen as part of this ACH Fraud scheme, and the person "hired" by the company unwittingly became part of the whole sordid deal. As the recipient of funds transferred online, he's easily identified by the bank and now faces charges related to the theft of thousands of dollars.

In another possible scenario, the "employee" could receive a large sum of money in their account and then be told that a payroll error had occurred and that the excess funds need to be transferred back - of course the funds are being forwarded to criminal elements involved in the fraud, but by the time the "employee" wises up, it's too late.

BE AWARE!

• No reputable company is going to ask you to forward funds through your account on their behalf.
• If a company tells you they've overpaid you and you need to refund them the difference by wiring funds to a specified account, go straight to your bankers and inquire about reversing the transaction and confirm the original sender.

 I know a lot of us are looking for ways to supplement our incomes in these lean times, but don't ever go for anything that's going to call for someone using an account in your name, or for them creating an account on your behalf.

Also, this fraud originated from a computer virus.
PC users - ALWAYS use an antivirus (no Macs are not as susceptible to viruses)

There are good free ones out there, and great free online scanners out there as well.
If there's enough interest I can do another post on those. Leave me a comment or send me an email to let me know.

Battle Scarred

Ok so maybe I've been just numb with shock over the recent homework revelations with my son.

When we discovered he'd been lying to us about doing his homework at school and his teacher having his book (I know how dumb am I, right?) I was at once so disappointed but yet not surprised. Unfortunately, I have to say I wouldn't put it past him.

We had to deal with a similar lying incident a year ago, also school-related. For THAT one, I was all kinds of broken-up. Total mess. Tears, couldn't look him in the eye, devasted... Just awful.

This time around... Ok he's done it again. Terrible, but not shocking, and we're going to again try to nip it in the bud.

I went in to pay the teacher a visit today, and as I explained to her how her words that he hadn't been doing his homework shocked me, I relayed some of the (in retrospect) LAME EXCUSES we fell for.

And as I spoke to her, I saw her eyes widen in shock. Because he'd been telling her some very similar whoppers.

Let's compare shall we?

To me: I did my homework already and Miss has it.
To her: I did my homework and my Mom is checking it back.

To me: I can't find my homework notebook so you can see what homework I was assigned.
To her: I can't find that book! I must have left it at home! (Hence he ends up with FOUR english note books).

I could go one, but really it exhausts me.

My son, the liar? I can't fathom and I won't tolerate it.

I think at first my brain was going "Does not compute! Does not compute!".

How is it possible that this sweet and thoughtful child, son to a mother whose pet peeve is dishonesty, how can he be a liar? How can he have been carrying out this elaborate deception for weeks? Taking advantage in a gap in communication.

I know the question I need to ask is why... But there's always going to be a seemingly ok Why isn't there? Didn't we teach him that lying isn't ok?
He's NINE! What's going to happen when he faces the really tough challenges?!

Sigh...

So his teacher and I had a long long talk. We're going to be in closer contact now. Make sure there are no communication gaps to be exploited.

I didn't say a word to my son about what we talked about.

He saw me talking to his teacher and must have known the jig was up.

He was uber-polite all night. Did all his chores. Did his homework. Was on his BEST behaviour.

I hugged him when he his brother hit him when they were play-fighting. Patted his head when he was nodding off to sleep.

But all the while I was looking at this child with my heart breaking.

I just don't know how to trust him again.

Am I making too big a deal of this? For me... I don't think so...
I don't deal well with dishonesty within my circle of trust.

I need to be able to trust my son, and I'm just at a loss at how to make that happen.

Homework battles

My first you're-out-of-school-now-whatcha-gonna-do-with-yourself job was teaching.

I loved it.

Still love it, even though I don't teach anymore (aka became an I.T. nerd instead).

I dream about being able to homeschool my babas one day... although I know that's probably not ever going to happen...

So I make do by being as involved as I can with my kids and their education. Or at least I used to.

I used to go through all the day's work with them to make sure they really understood the lesson. Made sure all homework was done. Pick up on problem areas and try to show practical examples in everyday life that would reinforce the concept and help teach the lesson. All that good stuff.

Then I had the baby 16mths ago.

I still did homework with the boys, but it was getting a little difficult to squeeze everyone in...

Then came the layoff, job search, starting to freelance.

I will admit, homework suffered. Their dad took up some of the slack, but I just couldn't get in there like I used to. I mean I made sure it was done - asked to see it and glance through to make sure it looked ok. But nothing rigorous, and not strictly every day like before.

Once things started to settle down a little bit, I tried to get back into the homework and studies thing.

I found that M would tell me his homework was already done and disappear in some corner until I was tired calling for him to get his things for me to check back. One day I was appalled to see not one but MANY Incompletes scribbled in his books. He'd "forget" to do a piece of homework and have to squeeze it in while at school. I was appalled.

How could this happen to me? To my kid?

BAD MOM!

Ok so I try to be more vigilant and really get in there every single day, but that's so much easier than it sounds when the baby's feeding time, the boys' homework time and dinner prep all needs to happen at the same time.

Sometimes I'm just so tired and overwhelmed I just accept the "I did it at school and Miss checked it back already". This generally came from G - the older boy, and I thought it was a little odd, but I let it go.

Then one day it really bothered me - why is all his homework done at school now? Shouldn't I be able to get involved? Even if the homework is done in class, shouldn't the books at least be sent home and not collected until the next day? It IS homework after all?

Stupid me.

Seriously.

Stupid me!


On Friday, my husband picked up the boys from school, only to have the teacher come to the door, reprimand him loudly for not making sure G does his homework, and that she's fed up of it, turn on her heel and head back inside.

While he stood there with his jaw hanging. Dumbstruck and speechless.

Now her attitude aside (bet that conversation would have happened differently if I was there. I can relate to her frustration, but I wish she'd have said something before, or called us in or something), I cannot begin to explain how upset this makes me.

First of all my poor husband had to stand there and take this, probably feeling like he was in the Twilight Zone. This guy hears the homework conversations every day. Sees me checking back M's homework. And hears me griping about why I can't be checking back G's homework. And why can't I even see the homework notebook to see what homework's being given?

All this time, I was being fed well... no other word for it... lies. My 9 year old decided to lie to me on a daily basis to get out of doing homework? How long had this been going on? Why didn't I know?

Sometimes I think I just have to be the dumbest mom on the planet. How could I not see through that?

I'm so disappointed in my son. And in myself for allowing other things to distract me from my kids issues so much that they could carve out a little place where they would be safe telling lies.

It's Carnival!

Carnival 2010 is over.

But that's ok, planning for Carnival 2011 has begun ;-)

To those who have never experienced it, words can never do it justice. It is an energy. A cultural phenomenon. A feeling and passion.

My 16 mth old has only to hear the music to start jumping and dancing... that one will play mas'. (What's the saying? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.....)

I missed out on a lot this year, staying home with my babies. One misses a lot with a 16 month old. But that's ok.

2011 will soon be here, and with it more music, more passion and more energy.

I did make it to one party this year - an all-inclusive (one cover price takes care of everything) Breakfast Party.

There were local fruits and breakfast foods, local coffee, and of course enough alcohol to satisfy the most selective of party-goers!

Tents and tents of this...

Next year, I need to get me one of these... (the glass not the holder... already got me one o those!)

Being up close to the stage was cool... 

Being inside someone's front yard next to the stage instead of in the middle of this... even better...

The heat started to come up by mid-morning, and it was time for the bubbles and misters.

But a little time for chocolate-dipped strawberries and marshmallows (Valentine's Day after all)...

...before heading off to the after-party at the pool to cool off.

All in all not a bad way to spend a Valentine's Day/Carnival Sunday...

Just you wait Carnival 2011 - I'm already getting ready for you!

Getting back into the swing of things...

It's been ages since I last posted. Life took hold of me, shook the keyboard from my clutches and turned me around. We've had illnesses, and triumphs and disappointments. But everyone's ok (more or less). :-)

I've been meaning to write for about a week, but so much time has passed I didn't know where to start!

So here I am, taking the plunge, and getting right back into it.

I have a neighbourkids update for you! If you don't know what I'm talking about check out this post to get all caught up.

Ok so for a while things continued much as they always did - younger NK would appear at the door with his cheery self, BUT he does now get that sometimes it's too early and he needs to come back. He really does have quite a fun personality. Very impulsive. Very energetic. It can be quite a challenge to hold back a laugh at some of his antics. Like his "special move" in Wii Sports tennis. Remind me to demonstrate some time... ;-)

Older NeighbourKid - not as much fun. He just seemed to find a way to push people's buttons, and I'm still not sure why. As a matter of fact, one night all the grownups and kids were all hanging out and he was so rude to his mother throughout that whole night that I really thought long and hard about talking to her to find out why she let him act out the way he does.

Not necessary.

A couple nights later, she and I sat around and just hung out at her house, and the child I saw then was a very different child. He was funny, and sweet. And I thought well this must be the child she knows! And it was just too hard for me to tell her how he acts out, because I am convinced now that she would not be amused.

She made it a point to tell me how well-behaved mine were, and that my oldest corrects hers when he's rude to her. Something along the lines of "Dude you can't talk to your mom like that. She's your MOM."

I think now that he knows his mom and I talk, we'll see a lot less acting out, because he knows it could get back to her. He seems to get his moods here and there, but the kids know how to move around him now, and his grumpiness doesn't seem to affect them any more.

So the whole situation seems to have worked itself out for the best. Phew! Weight off my shoulders!

So how have you guys been?

I'll be stopping by to visit starting today. I have lots of catching up to do!