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Sunday, October 25, 2009

Parenting with Dr Asperger

Looking at your crying child and knowing that you are powerless to help. This feeling of utter desolate helplessness. This is the root of Mother Guilt. Because instinctively a parent will give their all to avoid being here.

He is sad. And he doesn't know why. And I can't get to the bottom of it. And I can't make it go away. I feel like I'm failing him.

He desperately needs me, and this time. I don't have the answers.

As I watched him curl next to me in a tight ball sobbing silently, I resolved to do the only thing I know how to do. To work through this the best way I know how, and to document the process. I hope it will somehow hold a clue to helping him. And perhaps it will help another parent somewhere, to know they are not alone.

Our journey starts here: Parenting with Asperger, so named after the pediatrician who recognized it in himself and others, and argued for their place in society.

Hans Aperger was an Austrian pediatrician (1906-1980). He may have himself been an autistic, although the disorder named after him was not popularized until 1981.
"We are convinced, then, that autistic people have their place in the organism of the social community. They fulfil their role well, perhaps better than anyone else could, and we are talking of people who as children had the greatest difficulties and caused untold worries to their care-givers." 



8 comments:

Melissa B. said...

Hang in there, chica. Our Humble High School "mainstreams" students with Asperger's Syndrome, and they do quite well. When you have an "other abled" child, you're able to see the particularly special side of life...

Liz Mays said...

I think it's great that you're documenting everything. We'll be here supporting you as you make this journey.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

Hugs to you. The diagnosis is so new for you and your son and like any kind of unwelcome news it will take awhile to accept.

My nephew, as I once mentioned also has Aspergers. He's found his passions just like any other child. He has wonderful friends. It took him and my sister awhile to "settle in" with it. There are smiles and lots of them ahead...

Traci said...

I can't say as I have walked your walk but please know that someone out here has you in their prayers. I wish you and all three of your beautiful children the best. I will be following your journey.

A Mother Always said...

Your child will turn out fine. You just have to want it and believe it. It will be. Praying with you.

tinahead81 said...

oh my gosh, its so nice to hear that i'm not the only one. my poor daughter cries so hard sometimes, and i just don't know what's wrong :o( it makes me feel like the worst mother. my daughter does not have a diagnosis, which frustrates me even more. 4 neurologists, and all they can tell me is that there are "non specific abnormalities in her brain". hang in there...you are a great mommy! *hugs*

Claudya Martinez said...

Much love to you and yours.

MostlyFlumxdArt said...

You found the answer...I assume it is a relief to have a name for what you have been worrying over, it was for me when I found out why my daughter was not growing. I look forward to reading about how you will move through this diagnosis...Thank you for sharing it with us.

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