But not today.
As we speak, I have just escaped into my bedroom ready to vent.
I'm one of those people who doesn't call people before 10am or after 9pm unless I know you really well. I say Please and Thank you. I write thank you notes (or make thank you calls at any rate). I'm not overly obsessed with etiquette (Martha I aint), but I do think there's something to be said for showing some manners.
Read on dear readers.... and give me your words of advice. Am I over reacting? What would you do?
I live in a house converted to have 3 separate apartments. My apartment is on the bottom floor has a totally different entry way from everyone else which gives us a lot of privacy here, which I enjoy.
Or enjoyed.
The family who moved in above us this summer has 2 boys, about the same ages as my boys. And because I otherwise like them, and don't mind my boys playing with them, I refrain from asking them if they forgot their manners at home!
It drives me absolutely crazy when these kids just burst through my door while I'm in the middle of breakfast and take up residence chatting with the boys and pulling out toys without so much as a good morning, hello, may we....
Am I that old that those things are now old fashioned?
I don't think I'd mind so much if I were dressed, and ready for the day.
But today, if I'm honest, I'm not just annoyed, I'm pissed.
Because as I look at these children taking up residence in my house, and making a general mess where I've managed to keep mess free all week, I hear the distinctive sounds of furniture moving and cleaning happening upstairs. Sounds exactly like what I'd like to be doing myself. Except wait.... I have uninvited guests. Making a mess. In mine.
Just as I was getting the baby to sleep. Excuse me if I nurse at the table with my family, in my apartment. With my uncombed hair, still in my pajamas, laughing around the table with my family.
Listen to what I had that was interrupted. My boys presented me with this letter this morning at breakfast - a very belated birthday letter from my boys (my birthday was 2 mths ago)
"We love you and respect you, but this letter is about how much we care for you and love you.
We are wild and you mite [might] think we do not but we do we could not ask for you.
[heart]
We love you."
Enter whirlwind of children.
I feel so invaded.
So help me.
Tell me how you'd handle it.
Mothers who welcome the neighbourhood children into your homes and maintain sanity. What tips do you have for me?
These are good kids, and I like them generally. But it's hard to remember that at times like this. Oh and the last time I spoke to the mom and related how I turned around after using the bathroom and realized that her son was just outside the door looking in (I know. the horror.) I didn't see them for ages and I would hear her son banging on the door trying to get out - because she reverted to locking the doors to prevent them from running out. I don't want the poor kids to be locked away, but then again I am not fond of them just wandering into my house unannounced either!
HALP!
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14 comments:
Personally, I would lock my front door and ask the boys to call first. You can still be inviting and have boundaries as well.
Oh yeah, I think you have every right to be disturbed by this. It's like you have no privacy either.
Here's what I'd do...lock the front door (and even go so far as to install a chain lock at the top of the door, so your boys can't open it in the event that they're letting the neighbors' kids in without you knowing it). Then you can answer the door when they knock but only a few inches, enough for you to say "Now's not a good time but I'll send my boys over when they're done eating (or whatever". That helps set some boundaries and gives you more control over when they're at your home.
Or maybe even this...give the boys your home # and ask them to have their mother call you if they'd like to come over and play.
Hope it all works out. I can imagine how annoying that is!
I can't add too much more to what's been said above. I agree that boundaries are important, but I also understand how important it is for kids to have safe places---and those places may or may not be their own homes.
That being said, you should make a standing rule, like--nobody comes here before 10:00 AM.
I agree with all that's been said. Locking the door will help. Maybe speaking to the folks upstairs? You should at least tell the neighbor boys that they shouldn't come down to see your guys until 10 in the morning...
I would talk to the mom and tell her that you don't mind them coming down to play but that you and your children need some time together everyday to her your day started.
And if they show up before you are willing to have them...send them back upstairs.
I think you need to put your foot down.
I'd be bothered too. First, I think you need to start locking the door.
II have neighbor boys like this and locking the door really helps. It means they have to ask before they can come in and you have the ability to say yes or no. Plus, it gives you the ability to set rules before they come in, such as "whatver things you take out, you must put away before leaving".
Good luck with it. It gets on my nerves too that they are ALWAYS here.
I would talk to the boys and tell them that although you enjoy their company you would appreciate them not coming over before a certain time.
Lock the door and if they try and come over before the designated time you can say, it's nice to see them, but they will have to come back later.
That is annoying.
I'm a nanny and it always amazes me that parents don't teach their children basic manners these days.
You can't teach them manners but you can teach them the rules of your house. Put your foot down and tell them that no they can't barge in, they must knock...etc. I have a similar neighbor child who loves to ring the doorbell incessantly...And it quite rude to my girls. It is a fine balance of getting my girls to speak up and letting her know what will and will not happen in my house. Good luck!
If it were me, I would lock the doors so that they can't just come in. I would also have a discussion with them that they need to knock when they come over and then ASK if the kids can play at that time.
My goodness! That would tick me off too! I would keep my doors locked if I were you. First of all they should learn that they must knock before entering and if their Momma isn't going to teach them that than you can teach them by locking the doors. That's just my opinion on what I would do. It would totally freak me out to turn around and see kids standing in my living room Or worse yet, outside of my bathroom door! You are one brave woman!
Ugh! I would feel just as annoyed as you are! What a crappy way to start the day.
The other ladies have fabulous ideas so I won't repeat. I love the chain on the door idea.
O, I wish that I had good advice but I am a queen of avoiding conflict. I would just say that you are not crazy or old-fashioned. I am a believer that manners do matter now more than ever.
Good luck with the situation.
Have a happy Thanksgiving.
1.) Lock your doors at all times so they have to knock to enter.
2.) Set up a schedule. Tell your kids and these kids what it is. No guests before Noon or whatever you want to come up with.
On another note, I think you have a good thing going at your house if the neighborhood kids want to be there with your kids. How good for you that your kids aren't clammering to go elsewhere. Your house may have less privacy, but you know where your kids are and who their friends are. I think that is worth a little less privacy.
My goal in life is to have my house be the one the neighborhood kids come to. And believe me, I don't like bad manners and I enjoy my privacy. So I feel you...
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