Don't get me wrong, I wasn't a bad kid....in my early years. :-) Just kidding. I was never a bad kid, but my teenage years? I admit I was more than a handful.
In my defense, I had a lot going on. Absentee father, stepfather FAIL (twice), not to mention the fact that my mom and I are just two very different creatures. I was the social butterfly, very adventurous and always out and about. My mom was, and still is, pretty much a recluse. Which made for a LOT of clashes. So when she wished "little versions of [me]" on me, I thought Yeh! Bring it on!
When I was little, I was a really good kid. I was obedient and kind and I loved being helpful. What I didn't realize is just how precocious I was. I was a smart kid and I had to know lots. Which meant lots of exploring and asking lots of questions. Lots of questions.
I questioned everything. I couldn't just accept any old answer. Especially if I thought it was the wrong answer.
It's not that I remember these things vividly. It's that they come back to me as I look at my oldest boy. He. Is. Me. He is the sweetest, kind hearted little fella, with the wisest little soul. And he thinks he's the protector.
But he gives me a run for my money. I try to encourage him, but I also try to teach him how to be respectful in his debates, to look inward before looking out, assume nothing and to listen with more than his ears. He's so sure of himself he gets a little edge of arrogance that he's got to manage. That's going to be fun in about 5 years.... (someone really should design a sarcasm font...)
The other day my friend told me a quote she'd heard:
deciding to be a mother is deciding to let ur heart live outside of u for the rest of your life
I think that's the hardest part of this so-called "punishment". It's watching my mini-me go through the hurt and disappointment that we all go through. To look on as he makes his mistakes, or encounters life's jackasses... To share his heart through the pain... That's the hard part. But one I gladly accept.
I'm writing this as part of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. It's not really on target for prompt #1, but hey... I'm a rebel, remember? You should definitely check her out. Maybe even write something? Come on - it's fun!
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15 comments:
its still a nice post :) thanks for sharing passed by from mamakat
Visiting from Mama Kats...
I love that quote...and now I understand it so clearly. It is true that having a child will "punish" you in the way that you "punished" your children...but you get all the good moments too.
Visiting from Mama Kat's...
Your post is wonderful - very reflective. It's true, even if we don't have a child who is exactly like us, they are peices of us...sometimes the good pieces, sometimes not!
That's a great quote. My mother always said to us: daughter you are, mother will be, and the things you do are they way you will see it.
Oh, why mother's saide that? (ha)
wrong word. No saide is said
wrong word. No saide is said
I think it fits the prompt well, but that's just me! :-)
We reap what we sow. Enjoyed your post on this!
Here's the link to my writer's workshop post: http://karen.pnn.com/articles/show/53857-i-m-so-happy-i-m-not-her-or-him-writer-s-workshop
I was a horrible teenager and I thought I would get my payback from my own kids. I didn't! I feel so blessed!
Great post. This is definitely the truth. It hurts so much to see our kids go through things, but it's our job. And my mom used to say the same thing to me by the way since was (and still am) a social butterfly who used to do quite a bit of talking back to her! What can I say - typical teenage girl!
Feel free to stop by and read some of my posts:
Tamara (aka The UnExperienced Mom)
www.theunexperiencedmom.com
I already see my stubbornness in my daughter. It's sad that we can't pass on what we have leaned completely because it is a journey we must all go through individually.
Okay, so I think I've got it! The Sarcasm Font should just be italics, but going in the opposite direction. Don't you think?
Great post! Loving the quote in there. I completely know where you are coming from. It's so hard b/c you always want whats best for your child, yet you want to shelter and protect them as much as you can, but that isn't always possibly or even best. Love the pic of your little guy!
OH, and that video you sent me is so cool! Do you all do that too? I love the little video on Noggin! My little guy runs into the room every time he hears it. :)
Oh my yes, they're certainly giving me a run for my money.... figuratively and literally !
Love that quote..
BM
Maile is my own version of myself. I know that kid better than she knows herself...and it is hard...trying to be good to them while it can be so hard to hand them over to the big bad world.
I have to admit though, I think the same things about my kids that your mom did about you, "I can't wait till you grow up and have kids of your own...you will SO be begging me for forgiveness!!" (like I did with my mom).
Gawd, it's so hard, isn't it? I just have one kid but of course he's like me in all the ways that make me the craziest ...white lies, dogged nagging and lazy? Hoo-boy!! But, even though I can't always love myself, I always love that little cuss ... in the end, it might even equal a little self-acceptance!
Great post ... thanks for bringing that to the fore!
Here from SITS, btw. Congrats on your big day!
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